Wednesday, February 13, 2008

'Star Wars' Still Lucas's Whacking Material of Choice

At the press conference for "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith," George Lucas went off on how he's really an experimental filmmaker who wants to make films about light, motion and color. But now he's realized that he still has "Star Wars" stories to tell, in theaters and on TV. Too bad he didn't realize he had stories to tell while writing "Attack of the Clones"—something might have actually happened during that piece of shit.

The upcoming Star Wars theatrical feature is animated—so I'm not sure how it differs from the last three. Lucas says he wants to further the art of animation, presumably by having everything on the screen move at every moment in time. What if that tree that's just sitting there were really an alien that looked like a tree? And each of his leaves were space ships, at war with one another? And then a giant dinosaur could fly by in the background in a giant spaceship, land, get out and do a dance!" (Stroke, stroke, stroke.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said..., yeah.....oooh, that's it, that's the spot, Mr. Mathews, that's the spot....a tree that's really an alien -- yeah, that's it -- and a bunch of Spaceship-Leaves fighting each other -- aww, harder, HARDER -- and a flying fucking dinosaur?! Oh God yes! Oh GOD yes!

Ooh, ooh, and then maybe...maybe... maybe, maybe a flock of superpowered, telekinetic half-rhinoceros/half-human mutants with aerial-flotation abilities can come crashing on the planet, shattering its electromagnetic field -- aww, aww, aww, aww, aww -- and fight back against the dinosaur -- ooh, hit me, oh fuck yeah! -- and join forces with fire-breathing bobcats with grenade launchers attached to their paws -- yeah, right there, right there, don't stop, HARDER! -- whizzing around in the background and getting chased by dragons -- aww, I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming!! Oh YES!