Monday, December 24, 2007

Utah Film Critics Association announces year-end awards

You'll see my own best-of next week, but here's where my organization landed:

Best Picture: No Country for Old Men
Runner-up: Juno
Best Achievement in Directing: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
Runner-up: Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood
Best Lead Performance, Male: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Runner-up: Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Best Lead Performance, Female: Ellen Page, Juno
Runner-up: Amy Adams, Enchanted
Best Supporting Performance, Female: Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Runner-up: Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There
Best Supporting Performance, Male: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Runner-up: Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild
Best Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
Runner-up: Diablo Cody, Juno
Best Documentary Feature: The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Runner-up: My Kid Could Paint That
Best Animated Feature: Ratatouille
Runner-up: The Simpsons Movie
Best Non-English Language Feature: The Host
Runner-up: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Utah Film Critics Association Top 10 Films of 2007 (alphabetical):
3:10 to Yuma
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
No Country for Old Men
I’m Not There
Into the Wild
Knocked Up
Michael Clayton
There Will Be Blood


Anonymous said...

The only good part of "No Country for Old Men" was the digital deer running away at the beginning. Everything else was stupid.

Instead of drugs and money, the whole movie should have been about those digital deer.

[stroke stroke stroke]

Anonymous said...

What if the camera just followed that digital deer around for an hour, until a leaf floated by, then the camera could follow that, and then it could land on a FedEx truck and follow that to a bird and follow that...

[the distinct sound of stroking]

Anonymous said...

Oh fuck yeah, Bob, that would be awesome. You know what else I thought of?

OK, you remember how in the movie, like there's all this wide open space and stuff? Sometimes it's just that one guy and desert. Obviously these "Coen" gus has never seen a REAL desert - otherwise it would have been more along the lines of Tatooine.

Remember that part where there are two trucks on the top of that hill? I was all like, "That's all? Just two trucks?" Instead, there should have been like a giant spaceships - with purple green lights flashing in strobe fashion - hovering right above the trucks, and right behind the giant spaceship there would be all these smaller spaceships, all with different kinds of weapons and stuff.

See, that would add a lot more CONFLICT than just some guy with some money (boring!) So with all those spaceships sitting there, they would all team up (the aliens, I mean) and start shooting at those Mexican guys. And it'd be like, "BBBBSHHHH!" and "PWEEEUUHH" and "DZ-DZ-DZ-DZ-DZ-DZ" and "KABOOOOM!"

[THX-quality audio of furious strokage]

See, so then the guy with the money would be able to easily get away....or would he?

Answer: NO HE WOULDN'T! Because right when he turned around to get away, there would be these giant digital robot butterflies standing in his way and their wings would spread out like majestic killilng machines and start swatting at him, and he'd be like "AAAAAAHH! I'm getting attacked by giant robot CGI butterflies!" (Hint: That's expositional dialogue. It explains to us what's going on.)

And at one point he'd fall in the sand and almost get killed, and he's be like, "Awww...I don't like the sand. It's coarse and rough. It's not like my wife's skin - which is so smoothe."

Oooh, oooh, oooh, I forgot to tell you: In the part with the giant butterflies, instead of a dark night sky, there are a bunch of other planets lit up in the sky and stuff. That's way better than just empty sky! And there'd be like giant meteor showers going on in the background and space stations hovering just above, with advanced beings observing the plebian human life forms below.

And I'd have some fireworks in the background, too.

One other thing I thought was stupid was how there wasn't even any music. Where's the fuckin music, man?! I'd get John Williams on the phone and have him get together this big orchestra of like a million people and do this really LOUD music. Oh fuck yeah, John Williams, fuck yeah!

See? If they would have made "No Country for Old Men" like I did, it would be better, not only because it would be more digital, but because, like all of my movies, it would really be about light and color and movement.