Thursday, December 13, 2007

WTF? 12 Best Picture Nominees and No 'Knocked Up'

Judd Apatow's "Knocked Up" received exactly zero Golden Globe nominations. No nomination for its brilliant screenplay or direction. No nomination for Seth Rogen's breakout performance or Paul Rudd's endlessly surprising supporting role.

There must have been a three-way tie for fifth place in the Golden Globes' Best Picture - Drama category, as there are seven nominees: "American Gangster," "Atonement," "Eastern Promises," "The Great Debaters," "Michael Clayton," "No Country for Old Men" and "There Will Be Blood."

With all of those out of the way, you'd think there would be room for "Knocked Up." But the Best Picture - Musical or Comedy category only includes "Across the Universe," "Charlie Wilson's War," "Hairspray," "Juno" and "Sweeney Todd." Why not have six films in this category and nominate one of the funniest and most observant films of the year?

PS Casey Affleck is the lead in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford."


Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Listen up, Jeremy - there was one problem with "Knocked Up." You talk about Seth Rogen's performance, but you could have gotten a WAY better performance if Seth Rogen was digital.

Didn't you notice how fat and slobby the real Seth Rogen was? If we made that movie, we could have given him like big giant muscles and a rippling chest. That'd be a compelling romantic lead.

Maybe we could even shoot it in 3-D and like maybe give Digital Seth a sword that he could point toward the screen while fighting off flying werewolves and saxophone-playing giant lizards and giant furry yellowjackets and a huge Robot Pope with a magical Pastoral Staff that shoots lasers. They would all be trying to steal his baby and he'd, like, kill 'em and stuff.

And can you imagine how Digital Katherine Heigl's pregnant belly will look in 3-D? It'll be like, "Whoa! There's a giant unborn fetus and it's coming RIGHT AT ME! AAAAAAAAAHHH! .... oh, whew, it was just a 3-D image, I thought it was real!"

Can you imagine the sensation of that, Jeremy?

So that's why it didn't get any Golden Globe nominations. Stupid real-person movies.

[jerks off]

Jeremy Mathews said...

Thanks,, Bob and George. That explains a lot. But why didn't "Beowulf" receive any nominations?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I was also wondering: Why the fuck didn't I get nominated for anything?

Is it because Dr. House is so complex? Is that why?