Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The young, the restless, the retarded

At this point, my failure to post anything over the last few months is getting too conspicuous. I've been spending too much energy writing for the podcast, and not enough writing for the blog. So what better way to return than with a review for the worst movie of the year? That's right, to echo my dear friend Mr. Mathews' comments (though he gave it a half-star too many), here is my diagnosis of a clear-cut case of stunted emotional growth, the cloying disaster that is "New Moon."

And while we're at it, more releases from what has turned out to be a miserable month in cinema - Roland Emmerich's latest exercise in pseudo-spectacle, "2012," Same Dame favorite and voice-capture pioneer Robert Zemeckis' latest exercise in advanced zombie technology, "A Christmas Carol," the perplexing lie that is "The Fourth Kind" and the half-intriguing, half-laughable "The Box" - which somehow winds up being the best of the bunch.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow how hip you are to use the word retarded....
NOT.

Chris said...

And how hip you are to use the old "NOT" joke. You had me going ... and then you totally pulled the rug out from beneath me by saying "NOT." Wit!

FYI, this is the definition of "retarded" according to the Oxford American Dictionary of Current English:

RETARDED /rita'ardid/ adj. less advanced in mental, physical, or social development than usual for one's age.

That describes the point I was making about the film's mentality accurately and precisely.

Rachael said...

If I were compiling a list of this year's top ten blog post titles, "The young, the restless, the retarded" would be on it. Although I suppose 'anonymous' makes a good point about how offended the non-sentient collection of images and sounds that is this film must have felt upon reading your use of the word 'retarded.' NOT!